I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I smell like Dick and happiness
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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