you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
