You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
