That's intense
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
