Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
