Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
