Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
