well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
