A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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