so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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