"it" just moved
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You took a bar mat shot.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
