I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
