ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's always time for handjobs
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
