none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
