oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
