And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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