I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize