this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
