She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All I want is dick and wine.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
