whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
