new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
