I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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