Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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