Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
