i may or may not be watching the land before time
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We are two peas in an std pod
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
