I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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