Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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