White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
