Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
