How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
