Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
