He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
