East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
