She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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