That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
