come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
