How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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