in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
