your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
