Walk of Shame. In a state park.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
