You're so nebulous sometimes
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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