matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
