Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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