using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
do herpes really smell.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
