Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
