We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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