Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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