Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
