Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
