Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
