I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
