What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
