ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize