Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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