those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Need sex. Gaining weight.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
