The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
