you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize