This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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