So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
