We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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