would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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