I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
