ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
