By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
