is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
