Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
