You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
