I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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